Seasonal Excitement

Seasonal Excitement

A statue of a Macho athlete was displayed in a Museum.

Husband and Wife came walking there appreciating and arguing everything they saw so far. Husband would not let wife win the battles of wits.


So wife relaxed watching this nude statue with just a couple of leaves to cover its privates, hoping husband goes to other displays.


The husband says, "Marvelous, but really darling there is not much to appreciate here. What is it that you are waiting for?"

Wife says, "Dear, the season when the Leaves Fall."

Clever Girls Funny Joke

Clever Girls

A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.


She says: "You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you"


The boyfriend says: "Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow ?"

"Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

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Life is a one way

Life is a one way

Life is a one way street....
No Matter which door u take..
Non of them..
Leads back..
So Enjoy every moment of ur life..
B'coz nothing will happen the same way again....take care..

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The most determinative & motivating sentence which shud always be followed in life.
The RACE is NOT OVER because I haven't WON yet.

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Have you ever watched a stone cutter at work??
He will hammer away at a rock, for perhaps a 100 times without a crack showing in it.
Then, on the 101st blow, it will split in two..
It is not that blow alone.. Which accomplished the result,
But the 100 others that went before as well...
So...
To accomplish any goal...keep going...

What matters is PERSISTENCY ....

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A Perfect Friend .joke sms

A Perfect Friend ..

I admit I'll never be the perfect friend.
I'll never be there always.
I may not make u smile at times but there is one thing I admit I could do.
To be the person I could be for u.

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Not the lack of love,
But the lack of friendship makes marriages unhappy.

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Never abandon old friends. They r hard 2 replace.
Friendships is like wine: it gets BETTER as it grows OLDER.
Just like us... I get BETTER, u get OLDER.

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Friends r like stars.
U can't always see them,
But u know they are always there 4 you...

Read This before Marriage

Getting married....?

Love Humor & Jokes? Click here to Join Group...

Read before Getting marriage.... :-)

• Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?

To tell each other affectionately. .. Sweetheart U R Dead !

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• Different Phases of a man:

After engagement: Superman

After Marriage: Gentleman

After 10 years: Watchman

After 20 years: Doberman

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• There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it

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• Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?

Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

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• How Dogs and Women are alike?

Neither believe that silence is golden, neither can balance a checkbook, and Both put too much value on kissing

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• The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: Everything and the book is titled: "What Woman Want!"

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• A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.

A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.

A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND

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• Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime.

Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.

Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice

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• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?

Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

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• Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

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• There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thruogh hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.

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• Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha. Achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se barish start ho gayi.

Dukhi aadmi: Lagta hai pahunch gayi.

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• On Jeeto's bday Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.

When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.

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• Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre Biwi ke.

TV chalta remote se, Biwi chalti hai note se.

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• Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

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• Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa. Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.

Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete Hon.

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• Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?

A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

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• Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage) , what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend ), what is permanent is boring(wife)

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• What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!

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• Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."

Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"

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You are very special to me

You are very special to me.
I don't want to lose a friend like you.
I always pray that you should be safe.
So please
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Be careful whenever you jump from tree to tree.

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Tell me why are you avoiding me these days?
Did I do anything wrong?
Please stay in touch with me atlest once in a day
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Yours lovingly,
Bathing Soap

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One Man's Dilemma...

This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, A button fell off.
After that, I picked up my briefcase, And the handle fell off.
Then I went to open the door, and the Doorknob fell off.
I went to get into my car, and the door Handle came off in my hand.

Now I'm afraid to pee.

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Women are always Clever

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you...to leave."

Man: "Hey Cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

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Excuse Me

Girl: Xcuse me brother, that's my seat.

Boy: OK! But I'm not ur brother, my father never f#@ked ur mom.

Girl: True, but my father did ! :)

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WHILE IN A DRUG STORE:

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

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Patient: Nurse, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.

Nurse: Have you seen a doctor?

Patient: No, just spots.

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Peter called his doctor's office for an appointment.

"I'm sorry," said the receptionist, "we can't fit you in for at least two weeks."

"But I could be dead by then!"

"No problem. If your wife lets us know, we'll cancel the appointment. "

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