Smileys , comedies and Funny Stuff

1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD,
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.

5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC

6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.

7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.

12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" - Albert Einstein

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Decomposing Can ( Amazing AD )

Faltu.tv

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AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with your partner about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

12. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

13. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Fundu T-Shirts

Send it to your boss

People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes


People who do less work...
make less mistakes


People who do no work...
make no mistakes


People who make no mistakes...
gets promoted


That's why I spend most of my time
Sending e-mails & playing games at work , I need a promotion.

The bowl

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble.

At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"?
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open. "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.? I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. "Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"? "Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.? "There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.?

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."

www.moftahy.net

Funny Baby Clip

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Can not Do Like Me Funny Video Clip

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Why English Is So Difficult ?

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;

but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;

yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,

why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,

and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,

yet hat in the plural would never be hose,

and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

but though we say mother we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Poems written by husband to wife

I wrote your name on sand it got washed.

I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. then

I wrote your name on my heart & i got Heart Attack.



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God saw me hungry, he created pizza .

He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi .

He saw me in dark, he created light .

He saw me without problems, he created YOU.



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Twinkle Twinkle little star

You should know what you are

And once you know what you are

Mental hospital is not so far.



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The rain makes all things beautiful.

The grass and flowers too.

If rain makes all things beautiful

why doesn't it rain on you?



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Roses are red, Violets are blue

monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.

Don't feel so angry you will find me there too

not in cage but laughing at you.


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most popular

Who's the most popular guy at a nude beach?
The guy who can carry two cups of coffee and seven donuts.

Who's the most popular girl at a nude beach?
The girl who can eat the seventh donut.

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Man asks a wish to DEVIL. "Pls make me such a thing that i suck blood of all the beautiful women in this world".

Devil said "AMEN" and Immediately man turned to CARE FREE ( Sanitary Napkin).

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A newly married man was standing in front of a mirror naked and was admiring his physique.

'2 inches more & I will be a king.'

Suddenly the wife comes in and says'2 inches less and you will be a queen!'

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Gujju women at chawpati stall.

First Lady: Mane Chat.

Second Lady : Mane Ragado.

Third Lady: Pehllun Chat Ane Pache Ragado

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2 rows Laughs

English Teacher: Make a sentence using "Neither-Nor" Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses,"NEiTHER" are they comfortable, "NOR" are we!

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A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party: Hi! I am sardar,This is my sardarni,He is my kid,& she is my kidney.

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"FRIENDS STAND BEHIND U DURING UR BAD TIMES"Do u want a documentary proof ??Ok,In future check out ur marriage album..U'll find al frns behind u !!!

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Kissing a woman at her FOREHEAD is RespectAt her LIPS is LoveCHEEKis HeroismNECK is LustBUT KISSING HER IN FRONT OF HER HUSBAND IS BRAVERY.

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