HONESTY IS STILL THE BEST POLICY

HONESTY IS STILL THE BEST POLICY

Once a general manager wanted to test his people who had come from all over India, about their values of life.


He announced that in their seminar folder, there is PVC pouch and in it there is a seed. When they return, they must put it in a good soil in a pot and look after it very well.


He would hold a competition in the next year's seminar and that the best plants would be awarded suitably.

Everyone did what was told to him. A year passed quickly. And next year in a big hall, there were hundreds of pots and a great variety of plants-a great scene.


Except one pot in which the soil was there and no plant! The owner was standing quietly and seemingly ashamed of himself!


The general manager called him on the stage. He asked him what happened and he told him the truth. He planted the seed which he was given – and did that was to be done- but nothing happened!


The general manager declared him the winner!


Everyone was shocked. It was announced, "Gentlemen! The seeds I gave you were boiled seeds. You planted them and nothing happened! You acted smartly and used some other seeds.


This man was honest to his work and, therefore he did not cheat me or himself!"


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A Perfect Friend .joke sms

A Perfect Friend ..

I admit I'll never be the perfect friend.
I'll never be there always.
I may not make u smile at times but there is one thing I admit I could do.
To be the person I could be for u.

............ ......... ......... ......... ..

Not the lack of love,
But the lack of friendship makes marriages unhappy.

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Never abandon old friends. They r hard 2 replace.
Friendships is like wine: it gets BETTER as it grows OLDER.
Just like us... I get BETTER, u get OLDER.

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Friends r like stars.
U can't always see them,
But u know they are always there 4 you...

Read This before Marriage

Getting married....?

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Read before Getting marriage.... :-)

• Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?

To tell each other affectionately. .. Sweetheart U R Dead !

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• Different Phases of a man:

After engagement: Superman

After Marriage: Gentleman

After 10 years: Watchman

After 20 years: Doberman

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• There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it

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• Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?

Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

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• How Dogs and Women are alike?

Neither believe that silence is golden, neither can balance a checkbook, and Both put too much value on kissing

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• The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: Everything and the book is titled: "What Woman Want!"

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• A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.

A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.

A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND

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• Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime.

Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.

Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice

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• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?

Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

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• Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

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• There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thruogh hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.

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• Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha. Achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se barish start ho gayi.

Dukhi aadmi: Lagta hai pahunch gayi.

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• On Jeeto's bday Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.

When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.

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• Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre Biwi ke.

TV chalta remote se, Biwi chalti hai note se.

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• Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

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• Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa. Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.

Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete Hon.

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• Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?

A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

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• Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage) , what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend ), what is permanent is boring(wife)

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• What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!

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• Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."

Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"

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The Wood Cutter story

The Wood Cutter

One day a woodcutter took his grandson into the forest for his first experience in selecting and cutting oak trees. These they would later sell to the boat builders.

As they walked along, the woodcutter explained that the purpose of each tree is contained in its natural shape: some are straight for planks, some have the proper curves for the ribs of a boat, and some are tall for masts.

The woodcutter told his grandson that by paying attention to the details of each tree, and with experience in recognizing these characteristics, someday he too might become the woodcutter of the forest.


A little way into the forest, the grandson saw an old oak tree that had never been cut. The boy asked his grandfather if he could cut it down because it was useless for boat building - there were no straight limbs, the trunk was, short and gnarled, and the curves were going the wrong way. "We could cut it down for firewood," the grandson said. "At least then it will be of some use to us." The woodcutter replied that for now they should be about their work cutting the proper trees for the boat builders; maybe later they could return to the old oak tree.



After a few hours of cutting the huge trees, the grandson grew tired and asked if they could stop for a rest in some cool shade. The woodcutter took his grandson over to the old oak tree, where they rested against its trunk in the cool shade beneath its twisted limbs.



After they had rested a while, the woodcutter explained to his grandson the necessity of attentive awareness and recognition of everything in the forest and in the world. Some things are readily apparent, like the tall, straight trees; other things are less apparent, requiring closer attention, like recognition of the proper curves in the limbs. And some things might initially appear to have no purpose at all, like the gnarled old oak tree.

The woodcutter stated, "You must learn to pay careful attention every day so you can recognize and discover the purpose God has for everything in creation. For it is this old oak tree, which you so quickly deemed useless except for firewood, that now allows us to rest against its trunk amidst the coolness of its shade.



"Remember, grandson, not everything is as it first appears. Be patient, pay attention, recognize, and discover."

Bachelors Quotes humor and jokes

Bachelors Quotes

Every man should get married some time; after all,happiness is not the only thing in life !!

--Anonymous

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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

--Oscar Wilde

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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

--Scottish Proverb

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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

--Sam Kinison

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Men have a better time than women; for one thing,

They marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

--H. L. Mencken

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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.

When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,

You can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always.

--Anonymous

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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

She said,"Somewhere I h! Ave never been!" I told her,

"How about the kitchen?"

--Anonymous

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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.

That was only for the estimate.

--Anonymous

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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

--Anonymous

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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"

Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."

--Anonymous

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Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to get to married.

He says "the wedding rings look like miniature handcuffs... .."

--Anonymous

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first?

The Dog of course... At least he'll shut up after u let him in!

--Anonymous

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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said,

"Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain in is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied "My wife's first husband."

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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin .

The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled " It really works ! "

monkey flirting ( Bud wiser Funny AD ) Video

monkey flirting ( Bud wiser Funny AD )

Click here to play video

TO MY FRIENDS WHO ARE...

TO MY FRIENDS WHO ARE...

TO MY FRIENDS WHO ARE...SINGLE

-Love is like a butterfly...

The more you chase it, the more it eludes you

But if you just let it fly...

It will come back to you when you least expect it

Love can make you happy...but often it hurts

Love is only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it



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TO MY FRIENDS WHO ARE...NOT SO SINGLE

-Love isn't about becoming somebody else's "perfect person"

Its about finding someone who helps you...

Become the best person you can be


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TO MY FRIENDS WHO ARE...ENGAGED

-The true measure of compatibility. ..

Is not the years spent together

But how good you are for each other



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TO MY FRIENDS WHO ARE...MARRIED

-Love is not about..."its your fault"...but..."I'm sorry"

Not..."where are you"...but..."I'm right here for you"

Not..."how could you"...but..."I understand"

Not..."I wish you were"...but...I'm thankful you are"



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TO MY FRIENDS WHO ARE...HEARTBROKEN

-Heartbreaks last as long as you want...

And cut as deep as you allow them to go

The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks. ..

But to learn from them


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Definition of a kiss

Definition of a kiss

Prof .of Economics

Kiss is that thing for which the demand is aways higher than the supply.

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Prof. Of Accountancy

Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

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Prof. Of Algebra

Kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing.

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Prof. Of Geometry

Kiss is the shortest distance between two lips.

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Prof. Of Physics

Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.

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Prof. Of Chemistry

Kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.

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Prof. Of Zoology

Kiss is the interchange of salivary bacteria.

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Prof. Of Physiology

Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularisoris muscles in the state of contraction.

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Prof. Of Dentistry

Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.

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Prof. Of Philosophy

Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.

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Prof. Of English

Kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction, it is more common than proper, it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

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Prof. Of Architecture

Kiss is a process which builds a solid bond between the two dynamic objects

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Prof. Of Comp.Science

What is a kiss? It seems to be an undefined variable

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Someone Who Understands

A store owner was tacking a sign above his door that read: "Puppies For Sale". Signs like that have a way of attracting small children and sure enough, a little boy appeared under the store owner's sign.

"How much are you going to sell the puppies for?" he asked.

The store owner replied, "Anywhere from $30 to $50."

The little boy reached in his pocket and pulled out some change.

"I have $2.37," he said. "Can I please look at them?"


The store owner smiled and whistled and out of the kennel came Lady, who ran out in the aisle of his store followed by five teeny, tiny balls of fur. One puppy was lagging considerably behind.

Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging, limping puppy and said, "What's wrong with that little dog?"


The store owner explained that the veterinarian had examined the little puppy and had discovered it didn't have a hip socket. It would always be lame.

The little boy became excited. "That is the puppy that I want to buy."


The store owner said, "No, you don't want to buy that little dog. If you really want him, I'll just give him to you."

The little boy got quite upset. He looked straight into the store owner's eyes, pointing his finger, and said, "I don't want you to give him to me. That little dog is worth every bit as much as all the other dogs and I'll pay full price. In fact, I'll give you $2.37 now, and 50 cents a month until I have him paid for."


The store owner countered, "You really don't want to buy this little dog. He is never going to be able to run and jump and play with you like the other puppies."

To his surprise, the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the store owner and softly replied, "Well, I don't run so well myself, and the little puppy will need someone who understands."


Don't we all need someone who understands?

~"Puppies For Sale" by Dan Clark~


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21 Reasons Why I Love You...

21 Reasons Why I Love You...

* I can be myself when I am with you.

* Your idea of romance is dim lights, soft music, and just the two of us.

* Because you make me feel like, like, like I have never felt before.

* I can tell you anything, and you won't be shocked

* Our undying faith is what keeps the flame out of love alive

* You and me together, we can make magic.

* We're a perfect match.

* Thinking of you, fills me with a wonderful feeling.

* Your love gives me the feeling, that the best is still ahead.

* You never give up on me, and that's what keeps me going.

* You are simply irresistible

* I love you because you bring the best out of me.

* Your terrific sense of humor

* Every time I look at you, my heart misses a beat

* You're the one who holds the key to my heart

* You always say what I need to hear (You are perfect).

* You have taught me the true meaning of love.

* Love is, what you mean to me - and you mean everything.

* You are my theme for a dream.

* I have had the time of my life and I owe it all to you.

* And, of-course, your intelligence, 'cause you were smart enough to fall in love with me ;-)


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Girls vs. Grown Women

Girls vs. Grown Women

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.

Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits

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Girls want to control the man in their life.

Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

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Girls check you for not calling them.

Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.

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Girls are afraid to be alone.

Grown women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.

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Girls ignore the good guys.

Grown women ignore the bad guys.

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Girls make you come home.

Grown women make you want to come home.

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Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.

Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

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Girls try to monopolize all their man's time ( I.e., don't want him hanging with his friends).

Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends!

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Girls think a guy crying is weak.

Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

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Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.

Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his 'manhood'.

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Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.

Grown women know that that was just one man.

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Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all 'signs'.

Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.

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Girls will read this and get an attitude.

Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women and their male friends".

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Computer Tech Support Calls Funny Jokes

Computer Tech Support Calls

These "silly tech support calls" have been around in e-mails and online since the dawn of tech support.

They are always fun to read. I'm in the mood for a good laugh. How 'bout you?

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.

Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry....

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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah....... ......... ....thank you.

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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back

Customer: OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

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And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"
Customer: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

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