THE ORIGINAL QUOTE
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was....
If you love someone,
Set her free ............ .....
Don't worry, she will come back.
If you love someone,
Set her free ............ .....
If she ever comes back, ask her why.
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1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal!
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Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.
SCENE: The Oval Office. George Bush and Condolezza Rice.
George: Condi! Nice to see you? What''s happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I''m asking you? Who is the new leader of China?
George: I mean the fellow's name.
George: The new leader of China.
George: Now whaddya?asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well,I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That''s the man's name.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
George: Yassir? You mean arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. On the phone. I bet he knows.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N .?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
George: and stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N!
George: all right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too.
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George has an operation on his neck, so he has to be force-fed through his ass.
She says, "Yes, of course. Why?"
George says, "I want you to have dinner with me tomorrow."
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport.
They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece,
arguing nonstop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same.
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline.
They build the planes and ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves.
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How the company views its employees. (HE vs SHE)
1. The family picture is on HIS desk.
Ah, a solid, responsible family man.
The family picture is on HER desk.
Umm, her family will come before her career.
2. HIS desk is cluttered.
He's obviously a hard worker and a busy man.
HER desk is cluttered.
She's obviously a disorganised scatterbrain
3. HE is talking with his co-workers.
He must be discussing the latest deal
SHE is talking with her co-workers.
She must be gossiping.
4. HE's not at his desk. He must be at a meeting.
SHE's not at her desk. She must be in the ladies' room.
5. HE's not in the office. He's meeting with customers.
SHE's not in the office. She must be out shopping.
6. HE's having lunch with the boss. He's on his way up.
SHE's having lunch with the boss. They must be having an affair.
7. The boss criticised HIM. He'll improve his performance.
The boss criticized HER. She'll be very upset.
8. HE got an unfair deal. Did he get angry?
SHE got an unfair deal. Did she cry?
9. HE's going on a business trip. It's good for his career.
SHE's going on a business trip. What does her husband say?
10 . HE's leaving for a better job.
He knows how to recognise a good opportunity.
SHE's leaving for a better job.
Women are not dependable
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