1. I always wanted to have someone, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me ..4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!6. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?8. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.9. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder.....(Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking10. I'm so miserable without you...(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.11. Thank you for being part of my life.....(Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!12. Congratulations on your wedding day!(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.13. How can I say this....(Inside card) - Your cooking kills me14. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...(Inside card) - Especially since you survived.15. Congrats on getting married...(Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.16. Someday I hope to marry...(inside card) - Someone other than you.17. We have been friends for a very long time...(inside card) - What do you say we stop?
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